A New Year, A New Way of Showing Up: Understanding Your Nervous System
As we step into a new year, there’s often an unspoken pressure to change —
to do more, be better, fix ourselves, or finally get it “right.”
But before we rush into resolutions or goals, I want to offer a gentler question to sit with:
How do you want to show up this year?
Not what you want to achieve.
Not what you want to control.
But how you want to feel — in your body, in your relationships, in the moments that matter most.
Why Good Intentions So Often Fall Apart
Most of us enter the new year with the best intentions:
“I’ll be more patient.”
“I’ll react less.”
“I’ll be calmer.”
“I’ll handle stress better.”
And then life happens.
A hard morning.
A meltdown.
A disagreement.
An unexpected curveball.
Suddenly, we’re snapping, shutting down, or feeling overwhelmed — and wondering why change feels so hard.
Here’s the truth most of us were never taught:
Our reactions aren’t failures of willpower.
They’re nervous system responses.
The Nervous System Ladder (In Real Life)
I want you to imagine a ladder with three rungs:
Top rung — Connection
This is where we feel grounded, present, open, and capable of responding thoughtfully.
This is where listening, learning, and connection happen.
Middle rung — Fight or Flight
This is the state of urgency and protection.
It shows up as snapping, rushing, fixing, controlling, or feeling constantly on edge.
Bottom rung — Collapse
This is exhaustion.
Shutting down.
Checking out.
Feeling numb, helpless, or defeated.
Here’s the most important part:
We can’t always choose where we end up.
We can only practice noticing where we are.
Being human means we will move up and down this ladder — especially in a fast-paced, demanding world.
Awareness Is the First Shift
What changes everything isn’t perfection.
It’s awareness.
When we begin to notice:
“My shoulders are tight.”
“My chest feels heavy.”
“I’m holding my breath.”
“I feel on edge or checked out.”
We create a small but powerful pause.
That pause gives us space.
That space gives us choice.
And choice gives us the ability to respond differently — even just a little.
This is how patterns begin to shift.
Not overnight.
Not perfectly.
But sustainably.
How This Shapes the Year Ahead
As you step into this new year, instead of asking:
“How can I do better?”
Try asking:
“How can I notice sooner?”
“How can I be kinder to myself when I’m dysregulated?”
“How can I return to connection — with myself and others — more often?”
Because when we learn to regulate ourselves,
we don’t just feel better —
We relate differently.
We communicate differently.
We show up differently.
And those small shifts ripple outward in ways we often don’t see right away.
An Invitation for 2026
My hope for you this year isn’t more pressure or self-improvement.
It’s this:
✨ More awareness than judgment
✨ More pauses than reactions
✨ More compassion — especially for yourself
✨ More moments of connection, even on hard days
You don’t need to climb the ladder perfectly.
You just need to keep noticing where you are —
and gently finding your way back when you can.
Here’s to a new year of showing up with presence, honesty, and care.
With warmth and intention,