What We Inherit… and What We Pass On
A reflection on awareness, healing, and choosing differently
There’s a question I’ve been sitting with lately — especially as the year winds down:
What did I grow up with… and how much of that am I quietly carrying forward today?
Not intentionally.
Not consciously.
Just… automatically, underneath everything.
Because the truth is, so much of what we pass on — to our children, our loved ones, even the people we work with — isn’t really about them at all.
It’s about the old wiring in us.
The Stories We Carry
I grew up learning to stay small.
Be quiet.
Don’t draw attention.
Sit in the back.
Don’t raise your hand.
Blend in.
Disappear a little.
That was how I learned to stay safe in the world I grew up in.
Years later, I noticed something uncomfortable.
I was constantly trying to “quiet down” my son — a bright, expressive, joyful child who naturally takes up space.
I kept shushing him.
Not because he was doing anything wrong…
But because my own old beliefs were reacting.
Some part of me still believed it wasn’t safe to be seen.
And without realizing it, I was passing that message on.
The Moment of Awareness
Coaching helped me see it clearly:
✨ My son wasn’t “too loud.”
✨ He wasn’t “too much.”
✨ He wasn’t the problem.
My perception was.
My conditioning.
My learned fears.
My internalized rules about visibility and safety.
And when I truly saw that — something shifted.
It became my work, not his.
My work is to unpack where those beliefs came from.
My work to regulating my nervous system.
My work to create safety inside myself — so he didn’t have to carry what was never his.
This Is How Change Actually Happens
This is the heart of conscious change.
Not perfection.
Not control.
Not having all the answers.
But awareness.
Healing.
Choice.
Seeing ourselves clearly so the people we love don’t inherit patterns that no longer serve.
This work doesn’t just affect one moment or one relationship.
It ripples outward — into families, communities, and future generations.
A Different Kind of Gift
During the holidays, so many of us feel pressure to buy more.
More toys.
More things.
More stuff that eventually becomes clutter.
But the gifts that truly change us — the ones we remember — are rarely objects.
They’re experiences.
Support.
Connection.
Tools that shift how life feels.
That’s why I’ve been thinking differently about what it means to give.
Not something that sits on a shelf —
but something that supports a person where they actually are.
A conversation that brings clarity.
A space that allows reflection.
Support that creates lasting change.
Because when one person receives the right support, the ripple effect is real.
Homes soften.
Patterns shift.
Connection deepens.
Futures change.
An Invitation
Whether you’re reflecting on your own patterns…
Considering how you show up for the people you love…
Or thinking about meaningful ways to support someone this season…
Know this:
It’s never too late to choose differently.
And the smallest moments of awareness can change everything.
With warmth,
Dr. Priyanka Venkataraman
Physician | Parent & Life Coach
Founder, Wayfinding Moms