What if there was never anything wrong with you?
I've been reflecting lately on a belief that I didn't even realize I was carrying for much of my life.
It wasn't something anyone sat me down and taught me.
It was something my younger self concluded.
There must be something wrong with me.
Children are incredible observers, but they're not always accurate interpreters.
When we're young, we don't yet understand that our parents have their own stressors, their own wounds, or that criticism doesn't equal a lack of love.
Instead, our young minds often try to make sense of painful moments in the only way they know how.
If someone we depend on is upset with us...
If we receive criticism...
If we don't feel seen or understood...
our minds often arrive at the same conclusion:
There must be something wrong with me.
And because children are wired for connection, another belief quietly follows:
If I can just fix what's wrong with me... then I'll be loved.
Family time at the zoo
Looking back now, I can see how flawed that conclusion was.
But at the time?
It made perfect sense to my younger self.
It gave me something I could control.
I couldn't control how someone else responded to me.
But maybe... I could change me.
I've seen this same pattern in my coaching clients.
I've seen it in myself.
And I wonder how many of us are still living from that old story without even realizing it.
Maybe it's why criticism at work feels so personal.
Why feedback from a partner can feel bigger than the words themselves.
Why we become perfectionists.
People-pleasers.
High achievers.
Why we push harder instead of resting.
Why we're so quick to blame ourselves.
And sometimes...why we respond to our own children in ways that surprise us.
Not because we're bad parents.
But because our younger parts are still trying to protect us from ever feeling "not enough" again.
What if...instead of asking,
"What's wrong with me?"
we became curious enough to ask,
"Where did I learn that?"
What if there was never anything wrong with you?
What if your sensitivity...
your way of making decisions...
the way you experience the world...
the way you recharge...
weren't flaws to fix...but parts of you waiting to be understood?
I've found that curiosity can be incredibly healing.
Because it gently loosens shame's grip.
It opens the door to compassion.
It allows us to stop fighting ourselves long enough to begin understanding ourselves.
As we've continued our Summer of SELF in The Village, we've explored different ways of reconnecting with ourselves—through nourishment, sound, and movement.
This month, I'd love to invite you to explore another lens for self-understanding.
Our guest speaker, Dr. Stacey Cisneros, will introduce us to Human Design—an invitation to understand ourselves more deeply.
To recognize our natural patterns.
To appreciate how we're wired.
To explore what it might look like to work with ourselves instead of against ourselves.
Because maybe...
there was never anything wrong with you.
Maybe you've simply been trying to become someone you were never meant to be.
🌿 Join us in The Village
Discovering Yourself Through Human Design
with Dr. Stacy Cisneros
Saturday, August 8th,
8:00–9:00 AM PST
Free on Zoom
I'd love for you to join us with an open mind and a curious heart.
Every time we understand ourselves a little more deeply, we create more space for self-compassion, connection, and healing.
With gratitude,
Priyanka